Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Randomize
