She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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