i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
