haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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