just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
