he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Randomize
