bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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