I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
