if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
She's the barista slut.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
