So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
So much Jack, so little girl.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
