Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
