i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize