She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I'm too high and old for this...
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
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