if you like me you must not know who I am
It's Friday. Sex?
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
