I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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