And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Randomize
