Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Randomize
