Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
