she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
