when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Randomize