yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize