I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Redeem this text for a blowjob
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Randomize
