You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
