I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
