It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize