But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
