Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Randomize
