We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
