My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Randomize
