with your own penis?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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