All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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