i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
