Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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