i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
