you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
