We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
