Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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