I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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