My room smells like vodka and shame
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
