if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Randomize
