"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
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