How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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