pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
operation harelip BJ is a go
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize
