I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize