I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize