naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Damn victory sex feels great
Randomize
