there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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