So gin and wine won't be happening again
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
splinters make it hard to masturbate
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
