I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
sarcasm needs its own font
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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