i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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