I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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