Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
