in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
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