can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
