I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
