Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
