dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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