I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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