New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
