I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
