Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I am available for nakedness
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
