Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
