I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
