I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
