dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
