Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
He told me they were just razor bumps!
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
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