she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
