Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
