You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
my liver is dry heaving
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
