physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
