I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
