He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
We're like a lot better than the average bears
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
my being single is dangerous.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
