Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
