i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
we made out on top of his cat.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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