My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
